I have discovered, upon reading other blogs (primarily on crocheting and Catholicism--cuisine, culture, etc.) that I must be a truly terrible blogger because unlike others who seem to make at least a peep of an appearance daily, especially with cute and creative things (these are some cute baby hats I am attempting as a very dear friend is expecting #5 in August:
http://knittogetherdesigns.blogspot.com/2010/06/knit-together-designs-rogue-cap.html and
http://knittogetherdesigns.blogspot.com/2010/06/knit-together-designs-rosalie-cap.html).
BTW, I don't know what her policy is on selling, etc., as I am not planning to sell these first few, but I am sure if you dedicate yourself to some time searching her blog it's there.
Anyway, things are good. REALLY good. Crazy, right? How can things be really good when Alex is sick and life is a crazy mess and I feel like I fail at all the things that matter (wife/mother/occupational therapist, etc, etc--oh yes, crocheter...). Because GOD IS GOOD. YES. AMEN. HALLELUJAH--aka Praise God.
Let me elaborate, because, frankly, I REALLY want to (and yes, this post will be full of excessive capitals, please prepare yourself). I have been feeling such a failure, as I mentioned. Seemed like I could not do anything right. And I was. I. Me. Alone. Independent. NOT depending on the Lord. And I was screwing it all up, and very well, thank you. I was sick (physically-bronchitis/laryngitis; spiritually-confused/hurt/angry/didn't know where to turn; emotionally-downtrodden and depressed). I am so thankful for a friend who helped me to turn it around--we are so blessed to have a community of believers to turn to when we get lost and can't find Him, even though we *think* we are looking in the right place--but in my case, I was looking in the mirror for answers and not to God, despite thinking I was looking in the right place. Frustrating, right?! But easy to do. I have discovered in my short and sweet-n-sour life (because really, it's never always one or the other!) that when I hit a brick wall, pick myself up, and do it again, and again, and AGAIN, it's usually because I am picking myself up and throwing myself into that wall. If I simply say, while lying on the ground, bleeding from my heart and soul--LORD, PICK ME UP, PLEASE! HELP ME TO SEE YOUR WAYS. HELP ME TO KNOW YOUR TRUTH. I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO. And yes....wait for it...I GIVE YOU ALL CONTROL OF MY LIFE (stings, don't it?! but not as much as that wall we've been getting a bit too close to) AND SURRENDER (not popular in our culture--at all)EVERYTHING TO YOU.
Okay, so back to the good stuff--Alex, the primary person this is about.
We got to the Westside again at the end of the month for final check ups, etc., and then we will go before the selection committee and get on THE LIST. Alex has actually been doing better physically, he is emotionally being challenged as it is hard not to get depressed and feel down when you feel like pooey much of the time. He is itchy, so we are getting a refill on the anti-itch meds (now with Group Health, so switching docs, etc.) and will get a pain consult a UWMC (henceforth, the University of Washington Medical Center shall be called UWMC to save me some keystrokes and lessen the likelihood of carpal tunnel). We found out that Alex's vitamin D (a hormone, actually not a vitamin, as a side note) was nearly so low it could not be calculated. So he is on 50,000 IU's weekly for 8 wks as well as daily. Hopefully this will remediate some pain issues and also help the depression.
So, we have so many people praying and we would like to ask for a few specifics:
*Alex's complete and total healing through Divine Grace.
*Alex's ability to maintain his blood sugars in the meantime.
*Relief of his pain issues.
*Lifting of the weight of depression he is experiencing.
*Strength and loving regard for one another in our family--this is hard to do in tough times, but then the most important.
Thank you everyone, and thanks for dealing with my on again/off again relationship with the blog.
God BLESS YOU all!!
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