Life is Beautiful

I first saw the film "Life is Beautiful" at the house of a friend that was dying, only 7 weeks earlier having been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. He had had this condition in the past, had it removed and was a diligent sunscreen wearer, ate organically, and was overall a healthy individual. And yet...he died.

In the past year I have known other stories like this. Do all the right stuff, get sick anyway. And although Alex hasn't always done the 'right stuff' in terms of his health, when he was first diagnosed with PSC, he was only a kid with barely enough time at all to mess things up. But sometimes it just doesn't matter.

Since finding out that we were headed to transplant in the immediate way, I have cried not quite every day. There are definitely times I do, and often it's when Alex is gone and I start thinking about the enormity of the situation. I am positive, upbeat, but also human. There are times I am so full of and gladness for my many blessings it overflows, and there are times I am so paralyzed by fear and sadness I can do nothing but weep. It is truly a roller coaster of emotion. And it's these times that I want to scream at God "IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!" And truly, it isn't. But He didn't promise us fairness, or a life without suffering. He did promise us the grace to get through it. It's really easy to get all caught up in us (and myself) and think only about how hard and sad and crappy this situation is at times. But I have to remember a saying that my parish priest once told me. When we get to Heaven, we will see the beautiful tapestry of the world, and all the threads that belonged to us while on Earth. We will see how they intertwine with all the others, going over and under and next to, making the amazing picture of Creation over time. And we will see why all the things that happened did, and how they impacted others. While on Earth we can only see the tangles, broken strings, and holes not yet filled. But in Heaven, we will see the beautiful image woven by the hand of God.

Bless you, everyone, and keep up the prayers! You are amazing :)